watermelon

sexaulity:

This scene satisfied me in a way no man ever could.

The worst feeling is being in love with your best friend, and you can’t do anything about it

rainbowqueenoftheuniverse:

phils-mum-and-llama-placentas:

bangtidyniall:

I HEAR THOSE SLEIGH BELLS JINGLING

image

RING TING TINGLING TOOOOOOOOOOOOO

image

COME ON IT’S LOVELY WEATHER

image

FOR A SLEIGH RIDE TOGETHER WITH YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

image

IT’S STARTED

It’s fucking July you tinsel hungry elves

(Source: breakfastburritosattiffanys)

mynameschai:

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

He’s not wrong…

disorganizedrambler:


Completely accurate.
me: *wakes up*
me: wheres my phone
me: *rips off blankets*
me: *hears loud thud*
me: there it is

valoscope:

sheila-and-miss-pauling:

girly-fanatic:

reichenbackdatassup:

wow my brother was telling me this joke and he said

"if you’re fighting with a woman and she pulls a knife on you, just pull out the bread and cheese and meat and her womanly instincts will kick in and she’ll just make you a sandwich"

then all of a sudden our mom emerges from the kitchen holding a huge ass knife and she approaches my brother asking “sorry what was that?” and he started screaming

100000000 points to mom.

can i have that mom

Another day at Scout’s house.

(Source: spockdarlin)